This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
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There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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