Banned from zoo.
Again?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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