Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
