dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
