Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
