Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I need moral support for this bender
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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