Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
