Quick, to the slutcave!
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
