I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I enjoy the company of your penis
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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