i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
