Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Randomize
