I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
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