Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
