I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
