What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
