forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize