there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
