your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Randomize
