This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
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