im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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