No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
