you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
