im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
