While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
