we have officially lost it.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
