I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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