So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
