so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
