So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
