clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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