i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize