oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
