meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I FOUND THE LEGS
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
