At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
