just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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