Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
you made out with another girl for some wings
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Randomize
