I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
