Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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