is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
They took my balls.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize