you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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