I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
