I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
This girl is more easily done than said...
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize