I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
