is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
