the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
