Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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