puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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