Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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