The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize