i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
