dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I think I sprained my soul last night
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
