how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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