I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
