im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize