So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
