I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
