Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I need to align my fucking chakras
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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