Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
