you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
How external is "for external use only"?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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