You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
