I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
