What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i just google imaged poop.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
