I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
