I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
