but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I love having hate sex.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
