she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
