I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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