i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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