Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
