Porn is love you can see.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
My cat gives me a boner
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
