we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
