Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize