I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize