whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
