theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
