you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
