Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
it's like iHOP with fire
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
